#AgentsofSHIELD Season 5 Episodes 1&2 "Orientation" Recap and Review

The episode begins with a super-bizarre domestic scene about the guy in charge of abducting the team. He can breathe underwater, has a human skin suit, and is part of some secret high-tech men in black something or other. He brings them all out in plastic except for one, who isn’t on the list. They wake and are transported by another monolith, but this one looks different. It’s white and red, very festive.

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Coulson transports in first, to a spaceship with a hole in it, first frozen and then in real time. When time resumes, and Coulson reveals himself, one of the people knows who he is and practically gushes all over him. The other person gets taken by what the other guy, Virgil, calls “Roaches,” but are actually a super obscure alien race called the Vrellnexians, and no, I have no idea how to pronounce that. He continues to explain where they are, who he is, etc., but gets interrupted by Mack knocking him out.

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Yo-Yo and Simmons also show up. Simmons is wearing a gas mask, so Yo-Yo doesn’t recognize her at first, but it’s all good. Simmons goes to check out the dead people, who have been drained of all fluid, probably by the Roaches. They run into Mack and Coulson dragging Virgil’s unconscious body.

There is a guy in a Star-lord mask that levitates in through the broken window where Coulson just was.

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May comes through and is impaled by a pipe. Otherwise, nothing and no one on that ship would’ve stood a chance.

Coulson doesn’t have his robot-hand because he thought they were going to get arrested. Mack quits again. Yo-Yo makes a joke about both S.W.O.R.D and Inhumans. Coulson gives Simmons something from Virgil’s pocket, and they also find a postcard from Lake Ontario.

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May manages to get herself free and then hides because something’s trying to get through the door.

Virgil wakes up and fangirls over everyone else too. He says that they’re destined to save humanity, and then he gets taken by the Roaches. They all run and get cornered, but get saved by Daisy quaking it.

The masked man is now in the room with May and removes a keyhole looking disc from a dead guy’s arm. He appears to leave, so May comes out of hiding. He then begins to choke her, and he says he’s been looking for her. They fight and it looks like May is going to beat him with an injured leg until he uses the keyhole thing, which is some kind of anti-gravity device and pins her against a wall.

Daisy asks Coulson if this is part of his deal with Ghostrider. Coulson knows absolutely nothing. Simmons and Daisy figure out that Fitz was the one not on the list, but May did come with them.  Coulson suggests that they split up to find her and incomes Mack with common sense. You never split up if there is something out there that can kill you all one by one, especially if you’re a black guy! Because of this, they creep down the hallway together.

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The masked man has May bound and gagged and then cuts her open and inserts the anti-gravity device. He does all this while claiming he doesn’t want to hurt her.

Simmons and Coulson talk about the fact that the spaceship is designed to support human life but also looks like it has been around for a while, which isn’t possible because they don’t have the technology to do this. They find the room where May was, but only find here jacket and blood, not her. Daisy finds a control panel that says water reclamation. They’re getting water from asteroids. This not only means that the ship is some kind of human colony, but it also means that they have a spacecraft that the team can use to signal Fitz. The problem is, human access isn’t allowed. At that precise moment, two Kree come in and knock them all out.

Coulson, Daisy, and Simmons wake up in a cell. They hear voices discussing what to do with them. Daisy asks what they’re going to do with Mack and Yo-Yo. She gets the ominous reply “whatever we want.”

Mack and Yo-Yo are hanging in chains in a freezer. The Kree come in and start punching Mack.

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Mask man comes in with May and pretends to be friends with all of them to get them out of the cell.

The Kree talk about taking Mack to fight in the crater and about someone named Kasius, who is probably in charge. Then they start to freeze Yo-Yo.

Virgil had agreed to pay mask man to hide them and is annoyed to find him dead. His name is Deke and he now has no reason to help them. May activates the antigravity device to pin him to a wall. Then they split up. May and Simmons go find the ship, Daisy goes to rescue Mack and Yo-Yo and Coulson stays to interrogate Deke.

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As May and Simmons are riding in an elevator down to the ship, they realize this base is large enough for an invasion.

Daisy finds and frees Mack while they fight the Kree.

May and Simmons find the ship. The thing Coulson gave Simmons earlier is the key.

Daisy and Mack free Yo-Yo and kill the Kree. Daisy uses one of their fingerprints to get onto the computer.

Deke and Coulson are getting nowhere. Coulson asks why Kree built the bunker. They didn’t. Humans did. Deke thinks they all should have been told this in “processing.” He also doesn’t know where Wisconsin is. He says it was built at least 90 years ago. He was born in it. Coulson can’t comprehend that this was built in the 20’s and then Deke starts to get it.

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Daisy and co. realize that all the machinery has been repurposed because it’s giving their location in longitude and latitude. Mack asks to see the postcard.

Deke asks what they’re from and Coulson realizes that they’ve traveled through time.

So do May and Simmons.

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The postcard is from Fitz, and it says, “working on it.”

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And that’s part one.

Part two begins with the ship getting hit by asteroids. The controls are going wonky, so Simmons turns it off and then on again. They see a destroyed Earth.

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When they reunite with Deke and Coulson, he gives them all antigravity devices, which are called metrics. They discuss how to get back now, but they’re interrupted by a woman named Tess, who knows Virgil. Deke tells her that Virgil is dead and that he was also right. The team is from the past. Tess agrees to double Virgil’s price is Deke continues to help them.

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Deke finds Daisy and co. and freaks out that they’ve killed two Kree. Mack suggests that they stack them with the human corpses, so people will believe that Roaches got them.

Tess tells the rest of the team what she can. She doesn’t quite know what happened to Earth. It was torn apart by something and then the Kree took over. They destroyed all records. She leads them to a place called the exchange and tells them that there were Elders who used to tell stories about S.H.I.E.L.D, but they were all killed. Virgil was the only one left who believed and everyone thought he was crazy. She takes Coulson to Virgil’s room and tells May and Simmons to lay low. On the way, she runs into her boss, Grill, and he asks her why the ship, the Trawler, went out. She tells him that Virgil’s dead and she was training a new pilot.

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The rest of them take the bodies to a Roach infested area. Deke flirts with Daisy. She’s not into it thankfully. We really don’t need to continue Daisy’s revolving door of love interests.

Virgil’s room has all kind of artifacts in it, including a journal. It reminds Coulson of his office. Tess tells him that the Roaches live on Earth now. It will never be livable for humans again.

The Kree come in with a human servant and shovel out food. In the fight over it, the servant is stabbed. The female Kree kills the stabber with her balls of steel. Simmons tries to help the servant. The Kree take both of them away.

Tess tells Deke that she believes Virgil now. Daisy decides to tail him.

Simmons is in a spa, where she is told to wash and change. Then she meets the creepy guy in charge, Kasius, who says Hala doesn’t even have views like this.

Daisy follows Deke to a hidden room where several people are passed out. She passes out and wakes up in the Framework.

Simmons talks to Kasius. He asks her where she learned her medical skills. She says her mother. He offers her grapes and sees that she doesn’t have a metric. She says she removed it. He keeps creepily admiring her. He also tells the female Kree to give the humans some slack to relieve pressure.

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Yo-Yo takes a tablet and then the Kree arrive for metric inspection. Coulson tries to trade Grill the tablet for the metrics. He isn’t interested in the tablet, but he is interested in the whoever could steal it. He agrees to let them work it off.

Deke has rebuilt the Framework from scratch and uses it as a business.

Tess explains that the metric inspection leads to a “renewal.” If a metric lights up red, the person owes either their life or someone else. As you might expect, this is chaos.

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Grill installs the metrics and then pins the agents against the wall in case someone comes looking for him. Someone does, but May protects them and Tess shoots the guy. Grill then covers for them when the Kree ask about their metrics. He says they work for him.

The servant is brought to Kasius. He now has a scar and Kasius has the female Kree kill him. He then puts something that was in the guy’s ear in Simmon’s ear. She now can’t hear anything.

Daisy asks Deke if the Kree know about the Framework. Deke says that they do and they encourage it. They then argue about the morality of the Framework until a news report comes on about Daisy. He now knows that she’s Quake and says that he’s pieced together history and she’s the one who tore the planet apart.

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Simmons is painted up like the rest of Kasius’s servants. It turns out that she can hear him.

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So that was a lot to process. I’m knocking it down a bit for lack of Fitz, but I don’t see any other red flags in these episodes. 8/10.