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Episode Rating Scale: 10 Exceptional 9 Excellent 7-8 Enjoyable 5-6 Forgettable 3-4 slightly Disappointing 1-3 Very Disappointing  

#iZombie Season Three Episode Five “Spanking the Zombie”

Major is on a hard-core combat training mission and bullets are flying everywhere. He sexy jumps from building to building until getting stabbed 35 times. But he’s a zombie so he’s fine…

Ravi and Liv are at the lab discussing what we found out last week that the serum did not work on Blaine so soon major will have to take the cure and forget everything.

Clive has a case from two weeks ago….Roxanne a domanatrix hence, Liv is reluctant to eat her brains. But she cooks it up nice anyway.

Clive and Liv investigate the crime scene at Roxanne’s lair and Liv gets friendly with her whips. She tries to get Clive to play along but he’s not havin’ it. They hit the motherload when they find a camera in the room but the memory card is missing. Clive thinks maybe the killer learned his session was being taped got mad and strangled the victim. No Clive, that would be way to simple for this show!

Liv finds a leather mask and suddenly-VISION!

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She gets a good look at the last man who wore the leather mask and what he looks like without it. Apparently, it’s DA Baracus, the zombie running for mayor of Seattle that we found out about a few episodes ago but haven’t heard much about since. Seems even zombie politicians are into the freaky stuff!

Not only that, whatever Ravi soaked the brains of Roxanne it made Liv’s vision stronger and longer. Vision Viagra!

Back at zombie army training, Major is feeling the pain. Fortunately, Ravi has supplied him with the cure to take if things get bad. I will admit it would be interesting to see Major lose his memory the way Blaine did. Or did he?

Clive and Liv are on the hunt to talk to find Baracus and they spot him at his favorite diner.

“The man of the people when he’s no spread eagle on a bondage bed wearing a gimp suit.” -Liv

Liv explains to Clive that the Viagra Vision juice kept her up all night with visions so she is chock full of information on this case. Baracus spills hot sauce on Liv’s boot and she tells him to lick it up. This little scene makes Baracus decide to take their meeting to the back room. He does look like he wants to a little.

Since he is a zombie, Liv doesn’t have to explain how she knows things. She can simply tell him she ate her brain and saw him at the scene. He has an alibi so they move on.

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Liv had so many visions she’s keeping the sketch artist quite busy!

“Be a good little sketch bitch and pick up that pad!” -Liv.

While the “sketch bitch” stops for a snack Liv gets yet another vision. They bring the good old Johnny the weatherman, now anchorman, in for questioning! I love him! He too, has an alibi so moving on again…

Clive’s colleague tells him to stay away from the Wally murder case, personal connection or not! Clive realizes they cannot question Harley from the gun range anymore but he does have an idea to get him to talk to their now connections at Fillmore Graves.

Off to FG where Vivian has Liv tell the story of Wally’s murder and Harley’s connection, especially how he likes to preach zombie hate on the internet. She starts to tell her plan and we finally get a look at one of Liv’s long vision just from the people watching her.

Back to the sketch artist…

Where she sees a lawyer in the hallway which prompts another vision of said lawyer getting punished by Roxanne. Lucky for us Veronica Mars fans it’s Ken Marino! She runs after him to get his alibi. Since his alibi seems good, Liv gets bossy with him and they show him all the sketches of clients from Liv’s vision. He mentions a peeping tom giving Roxanne a hard time and is able to pick him out. Good job Vinnie! Or whatever your name is on this show.

We head to Blaine’s dad’s new zombie bar where things seem to be close to being in business. Blaine’s old lackey, baldy (have to call him that don’t remember his name), takes a trip down drug dealing memory lane with a local dealer sliggin’ the U. Baldy brings him back to the bar to party and to of course ask him, “You wanna be a zombie? It’s rad!”

Back at the station, Liv is bored so Johnny shows up to shake things up. Double whammy! Johnny and Vinnie, okay his name is Brandt, the defense attorney have teamed up. Well he arrives as Johnny’s lawyer. Johnny has information. He had been being blackmailed by someone who had video of him and Roxanne’s sessions. They planned to release the tapes unless he paid them 10 grand. He paid but now they want more. This puts Clive in a situation to catch the blackmailer.

Back at FG, Harley the zombie hater arrives for a meeting. Vivian has brought him in under the guise he is receiving a settlement for his brother’s death a Max Rager.  They pepper him with questions about his knowledge of zombies. While he spews his information, and spreads his zombie hate, FG men in berets (I don’t know why but it looks cool) install surveillance equipment in his truck. Now with eyes and ears on his truck they can find out exactly how much he knows and what he plans to do. (Also, if he killed Wally’s family). One important thing they do discover is that Harley knows the Chaos Killer victims are zombies and they need protection.

Meanwhile…at the Johnny blackmail drop, Johnny, Liv and Ravi play their parts. They easily apprehend the suspect and bring him in. Liv begs to interrogate him and Clive has his doubts on her intimidation skills. He forgot she was on dom brains I guess! She easily pulls a confession from the guy.

Back at zombie army training, Major is still looking worse for the wear. But good news for some of us, he does seem to take his shirt off often! He chats with his fellow trainee about a freezer full of heads he saw back at the base. The guy explains that they all have to eat and there aren’t often enough brains to go around. Suddenly, Major gets violently ill but he makes it back to the lab.

Ravi insists on giving him the cure. Liv argues if they give it to him the wounds he received in battle will kill him. Liv puts on her doctor hat immediately and starts treating his stab wounds with hopes to buy some time for his wounds to heal.

Back at the zombie bar aka, The Scratching Post, things are getting lively at the grand opening complete with specialty brains from Bangladesh.

Liv and Ravi keeps vigil by Major’s side until Liv sends Ravi to bed. He wakes up and she has to give him the bad news, the memory serum didn’t work on Blaine. I don’t know if I actually believe that but okay.

“Once I’m new me, will you remind me of what we meant to each other?” -Major to Liv.

Here come the waterworks…they reminiscence as I cry. They make love one last time…I cry.

Morning arrives and Ravi goes in with the syringe and explains what is going to occur. That’s all of the old Major.

Episode grade: 10-One of the best I have ever seen!