Jane t̶h̶e̶ ̶V̶i̶r̶g̶i̶n, Chapter 48: A House is Not a Home #JaneTheVirgin
Jane t̶h̶e̶ ̶V̶i̶r̶g̶i̶n ! The title has changed to match Jane’s status! All of Chapter 48 is about change. Some of our beloved JTV characters are striking out in new directions and making life changes and some of them are having change thrust upon them.
Young Jane Villanueva knows all about change. When Xo moved out of Abuela’s to move in with a boyfriend, young Jane went with her, only to have to move back to Abuela’s when Xo’s beau didn’t work out. Then young Jane thought she might be forced to leave because Xo and Alba couldn’t stop fighting. But Jane’s latest move is into her new home with Michael. Jane and Michael have painted the walls, arranged the furniture, and their first home (the one Petra secretly leased to them last season) is perfect! It really is cute, too. Michael talks about home décor and Jane gets turned all the way on. These two lovebirds have been having sex and lots of it! They grab a quickie on the kitchen counter while Mateo naps.
Xiomara is looking to change careers and lands a job in a bank. Abuela thinks Xo is going to hate the being a bank teller but tries to be supportive. Abuela has been spending a lot of time at the Marbella gift shop. Partly because she misses Jane. She seemed to hit it off with the gift shop cashier, so maybe there’ll be something there. Also, we finally got to see Abuela working. She takes care of this crotchety old woman named Mrs. Cohen.
Rogelio is determined to change his career and become and a huge star in America. Ro finds out his old fling Amanda, the romance novelist who was also Jane’s old writing group instructor has a Hallmark movie of her book, Sprinkled with Love, coming out. Ro wants the role of the stoic but sexy baker and arranges a date with Amanda at the Marbella. Amanda sees Rafael, in all his steamy goodness, and thinks Raf would be the perfect arm candy for a charity event she’s attending. She asks Ro to set her up with Raf.
Scott, a.k.a, “Vests,” is making big changes at the Marbella with his “Flamingo Initiative.” He and Pertranezka are still going strong and ready to blackmail Rafael if need be. The staff, led by Lina, aren’t too happy about Scott’s changes. Lina asks Jane to ask Raf to do something and Jane says she can’t because RAF’S MOM JUST DIED. Whoa! They just slipped that bit of exposition in nice and easy. Jane goes to see Petranezka and it’s clear Petranezka has no idea what Jane is talking about. They argue and Jane tells Petra she is a toxic person and storms off.
Back at Jane and Michael’s little love nest, the property manager barges in with two new perspective renters. IT’S NOT THEIR HOUSE. Jane and Michael discover that someone has been paying half their rent. They call Rafael and Rogelio, and both of them say they aren’t the secret benefactor.
Jane spots the realtor who’s been ducking her calls in the Marbella lobby and he confesses that Petra has been subsidizing the rent. Jane goes to thank Petranezka and invites Petranezka and Scott to dinner. Petranezka goes to check on the twins (finally! I was worried) and Magda’s cellie from the Big House is in the nursery. She knows it’s Anezka and gives her 72 hours to sell the hotel and spring Magda from the joint or she's telling everybody about Anezka’s little scam (Big House, cellie, joint—I speak Prison Industrial Complex).
Michael and Jane try to budget and cut expenses to make up the other half of their rent. They still come out $280 short. They decide to ask Rogelio for a loan and then they have sex. Sex, sex, sex with these two.
Xo’s fantasizing at the bank about a fine black man who wants to take her out on a yacht. She snaps out of it and her customer is a grumpy old man complaining about his twenties sticking together. Xo is not feeling the bank teller life. Xo quits, hides it from Abuela, but eventually these two come around (they always do. aww.) They both decided to make positive changes. Now that she has a green card Abuela thinks about ditching old Mrs. Cohen and finding a job she really likes. Albuela working in the Marbella gift shop is cute. I was hoping she had a crush on the cashier, but a crush on the job is cool, too.
Petra demands Rafael sell her shares in the hotel. Later Jane stops by to drop off Mateo and a please-let-me-pimp-you gift basket from Rogelio. Jane and Rafael think something’s up with Petra, but they don’t know just what it is yet.
At the dinner party, Scott worries about gluten and the potential walk out at work. He offers Jane $1000 to be the hotel’s “social ambassador” and to get the staff in line with Flamingo Fridays. Jane says she can’t take the money because she’s loyal to her friends. While Scott is in the bathroom, Jane asks Petra is she’s okay, thinking that maybe Scott was blackmailing her like Milos did. Petranezca storms out in anger with Scott in tow.
Luisa comes back from the police station and is upset about Rose (so maybe her return to Miami wasn’t part of a set-up.) Rafael is decked out in cool blue finery and leaves for his date with Amanda. Rogelio is there babysitting Mateo and Ro and Luisa watch his telenovela and do Sanford Meisner acting exercises until Luisa realizes she drinks because she feels terrible about being a bad sister to Rafael (Ok, I’ll allow it). After an evening of fighting off Amanda’s advances, Rafael returns and he and Rogelio go out for a drink while Mateo and Luisa sleep. (I’m guessing Mateo was asleep, too.) Rogelio tells Raf that Luisa is going back to rehab for preventative measures.
Michael has discovered Rafael has been paying Mateo’s gym fees. I don’t see what the problem is with Mateo’s millionaire father paying his gym fees, but ok. Michael and Jane have a fight and Jane leaves for Flamingo Friday. Jane and Lina are dressed like—wait for it---flamingoes! Sexy flamingoes, but they are flamingoes. Scott tells Jane he doesn’t appreciate her trying to ruin his relationship with Petranezka and then tells Jane that Lina took the bribe to call off the walkout. Jane is hurt that Lina chose the money over her. Meanwhile, Magda’s cellmate is putting the squeeze on Petranezka, just as Jane taps her on the shoulder and Petranezka gives Jane the full Dynasty and pushes her into the pool. Jane grabs Petranezka’s dress and drags her in the pool. CATFIGHT! Lina jumps in on Jane’s side and Scott is right behind Petranezka. Is it me, or would this have been a fine time for Petranezka, who is prone to having seizures under duress, to have a seizure? I thought it would happen, but it didn’t.
Jane and Michael make up and decide to look for a smaller place that they can afford. Michael says they’ll move into a bigger place when they can afford it. The Latin Lover Narrator says, “And they really believed that would happen. But we’re not there yet.” WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! Are Jane and Michael going to break up? Is Michael going to die? Is one of them going to cheat? WHAT?!
So the housewarming Jane and Michael had planned changes into a goodbye house party. Everybody comes. Michael's cute cop co-worker shows up, and they talk Elena’s death. Elena had underlined four words throughout the Bible she thrust at the guards as she was dying the last episode: ANGELS GUARD THE SUN. I have no idea.
Petranezka blackmails Rafael with Scott’s dirt on him and demands his shares as well as hers. Petranezka storms out and is startled by Jane. Petranezka makes the same noise she used to make when she was just Anezka AND SOMETHING CLICKS FOR JANE! Jane runs into Rafael’s office and says, “I DON’T THINK THAT’S PETRA!” Yes!
I give this eppy an A-. I like the episodes Melanie Mayron (Professor Donaldson) directs and this one was no exception. It clipped along at a nice pace, brought back plot twists from last season to great effect, and amped up the tension for the audience as Petranezka's house of cards prepares to fall. The minus is because I still don't think the episode kept all its balls in the air the way it did in earlier seasons. I wanted to see Rafael and Amanda at the charity dinner and have them bump into some plot-related person so they could set off some hi-jinx and shenanigans; instead, we got one quick scene with Jayne Seymour and Justin Baldoni. Also, unless Luisa is really going to meet with Rose under the sea to plan world domination and the wedding reception for The Greatest Love Story Ever Told, shipping Luisa off to preventative rehab--as noble as that is--seems more like a pretext to put that character on ice until the plot calls for her. I loved Xo's co-worker Caitlyn! Can she come back? She gave upspeak shade like it was her testimony! Yaassss, Caitlyn.
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To Be Continued...