Chapter 56 Jane the Soon-to-be Published Author
Ok, let me just remind you that we here at SueBooh’s Corner have been crushing on Dennis Chambers, Michael's partner, since the beginning of Season 3. I see you Chris Allen (call me!).
This eppy was all about needing forgiveness and getting unstuck. I know we’re in Part Three now and it seems like we’re not going to flash back to Jane Gloriana Villanueva Cordero’s childhood in the intro, but I need the Latin Lover Narrator to ease me into the episode; this week, LLN just blurted out, “Ok, Michael died—“ in the recap, like me and the rest of #TeamMichael aren’t still a little raw from his untimely death. I need therapy, like Jane.
Early in her widowhood, Jane goes to a therapist because she’s having panic attacks. The therapist teaches Jane how to do a reality check and figure out what triggers her. Just for the record, you should never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Those are triggers. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.
I love that Jane has 89 therapy sessions. If she went once a week, that’s like a year and a half of intense one-on-one counseling. Good for Jane! I wish more people had the means and motivation to take care of their mental health. Jane uses her coping techniques to deal with Chloe her boss, who is mad passive-aggressive and a Heinous, Appalling, Lousy Tyrant.
Jane hits the Marbella and chats with her BFF/BD Rafael about her job-hate. Raf tells her she ought to quit. And then the Latin Lover Narrator remembers that Abbey, Raf’s post-prison paramour, is at the table, too. Did Minka Kelley have trouble getting to the set? Abbey keeps popping up as an afterthought like the JTV writers are letting us know she’s important to Rafael….but not really. Don’t look for Abbey in Season 4, that’s all I’m saying.
(Eww, what if Abbey is Rafael’s biological sister? Ewwww)
There’s a new Marbella lounge manager named Elvis (now that Scott is decomposing on the Fairwick side of the property line –-Raf and Petra let out a joint sigh of relief about that). He’s awful, and Jane gives him a few pointers because she, you know, used to work at the Marbella with her friend Lina, who is on the side of a milk carton because no one knows where she is. #HaveYouSeenLina?.
Dargelio are filming their fake honeymoon. Darci is getting a sexy rub down from the cabana boy, a set up to make Rogelio fake-jealous so they can have a fake-fight and Ro can say his reality TV tag line, “I just want to be factored in!” Ro doesn’t care. He’s pining over Xiomara. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
Rogelio joins Jane, Xo, and Alba for a family dinner and Xo gets an email that proves Rogelio knew about“The De La Vega Factor Factor” producers setting her up as the Evil Ex villainess. Xo kicks Ro out.
Dennis is running the investigation into Scott’s murder. Jane sees him at the Marbella, has a panic attack, and slaps the taste out of his mouth. Flash back to Michael’s graveside funeral where Jane is numb with disbelief and Detective Dennis walks up, all tall and pecan-brown, with those dimples and sleepy eyes. Detective Dennis takes Jane in his arms and says, “I’m going to check in on you,” all sexy and deep-voiced. I was so ready for Jannis (Jane + Dennis)! I wanted them to bond over their mutual love for Michael! Dennis was telling stories that made Jane smile again; he could have eased her through her pain with his strong, sandalwood-scented arms (I’m imagining, I’m imagining.)
Ro comes over to Alba’s to see Jane with a Ropology basket for Xo. Jane is sure Xo will never forgive him. Really? Didn’t Xo sleep with Ro’s arch-nemesis, the unfortunately named Esteban Santiago? Didn’t Xo keep Ro’s daughter from him for two decades? Is three years of being a Reality TV villainess (which Xo obviously signed a release for since her face isn’t blurred, which means she also got paid and free publicity for her little dance studio) that unforgivable? Gather these new writers, Jennie Snyder Urman, gather them.
Jane finds out she’s getting $50k so she goes to give Chloe her two weeks’ notice. Chloe shades Jane, telling her she’s a step above self-publishing on line (hey!) and Jane tells Chloe she’s a bitch and exits stage left.
As far as Scott’s murder goes, Petra’s in the clear, but she really wants to help her boo-thang, Chuck, deal with the bad publicity. And Petra knows from dead bodies turning up at a hotel (Roman Zazo, anyone?). Chuck thinks Petra is catching feelings. Petra dedicates a memorial fountain and scholarship in Scott’s name for good PR. Rafael winks at her approvingly. That’s all he does. Seriously. Like he and Abbey have no story line.
Jane realizes she’s not getting 50 large all at once but in drips and drabs. She freaks because she needs a job! Even though her son has a $40 million trust fund and her baby daddy owns a hotel and probably knows someone in publishing in Miami, Jane decides she has to apologize to Chloe and get her job back. I would have sent Rafael over to Chloe’s house and told him to take off his shirt. That would have got her job back with a quickness.
Petra wants to fire Elvis and hire a new lounge manager, but Raf confesses that Elvis is his cellie from the jellie and he promised Elvis a job when he got out. Petra is the opposite of pleased. They have to find a new lounge manager! Rafael is recording the twins’ adorableness and Petra gets the idea to look for clues to Scott’s death on video from that day. This leads to the BEST COUPLE I NEVER KNEW I WANTED: ROGELIO & PETRA! Ro was filming DLVFF the day of Scott’s demise so Ro and Petra review footage. Yael Grobglas and Jaime Camil are hilarious together (“it’s a gem” “you’re going to the gym?” “Your accent is thick" "*Your* accent is thick—“) like Abbott and Costello. If Justina Marcado leaves the show, I VOTE FOR PETRO!!
Jane sneaks into Chloe’s spin class but Chloe’s not having it. If Jane can get an author to reconsider working with Chloe, Jane gets her job back. But Jane talks to Raf and decides to become the Marbella’s new Lounge Manager for no more than two years. Jane says she doesn’t want to get stuck. Then she tells Rafael he’s stuck. Raf decides to take an active part in the Marbella. Petra is glad. And so is Abbey, who the Latin Lover Narrator forgot was there again.
Rogelio finds out Darci sent Xo proof he’d okayed her unflattering portrayal in the DLVFF. Darci is hurt because she unfroze her egg and Ro changed his mind. I guess Darci only had one egg. No matter, Darci has Kardashian-level fame and that does a good job of masking the empty feeling she has without a baby. Ro recoils at her craven ambition and runs to Xo’s studio to apologize. Ro confesses he was jealous of her relationship with Bruce and wanted to hurt her. Xo gets that torn-between-two-lovers look on her face. Bruce wasn’t even in this episode, so you know Xo and Ro are getting back together. Oh, and Ro is being sued for breach of contract. $10 million.
Mateo opens his coloring book to a giraffe, a nice call back to Michael and the smelly camping date, and Jane realizes she has to face Dennis. Turns out Jane caught Dennis taking pics of Michael’s Sin Rostro notebooks. Dennis was trying to clear Michael’s name; Jane was angry that Dennis would even think Michael could have anything to do with Sin Rostro. Jane meets Dennis at a boxing gym and they battle it out. Dennis knocks Jane out. They reach some kind of understanding and agree to maybe meet to box again. I hope so. I hope Dennis takes his shirt off. Dennis looks like he’s about 6’4”. Haaay.
Chuck thinks Petra cleared his hotel’s reputation because she likes him. Nope, Petra’s a got a guilty conscience; she nudged Scott’s crusty corpse off the Marbella’s property and on to the Fairwick’s! dun Dun—oh but wait! Rafael meets Elvis the Ex-con in a dark parking garage and says something about Scott’s murder! dun Dun DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I give this episode a 6. Most of that six comes from Petra and Rogelio’s scene. And Dennis’s muscular arms. I like seeing Jane work through her grief; that helps us get to where she is. Mateo annoys me. He seems like an undisciplined, mis-raised child. I find it hard to believe that the same Jane who would didn’t want him to have a multi-million dollar trust fund would let him be such a brat. I need the writers to make that make sense to me, how Mr. Sweetface became Mr. Badbutt. THE ABBEY TEASE MUST STOP. Rafael and Abbey need to be front and center next week and whatever Abbey is gonna do, she needs to do. And get Xo and Abuela back in the thick of things. Maybe Xo can teach a dance class for kids at the Marbella and that way everybody has a reason to be at the hotel and something fun and crazy can happen.
To be continued…
Let me know what you think,