Maze and Chloe are best friends, Lilith wants Det. Dan again and, oh yeah, God is here (maybe)…
This episode starts out with Lucifer being wheeled through a hallway on a gurney, at which time, we move back 36 hours in time to Lucifer’s latest session with Dr. Linda, where Lucifer tells Dr. Linda he’s fine, when clearly, he’s not. One of the things on Lucifer’s mind is the fact that Maze has become bffs with Chloe. Cut to Chloe and Maze’s apartment where Maze tries to make Chloe breakfast to ill effect and Chloe tries to no avail to let Maze down gently, letting her know that they should start expanding their friendship circle.
Lucifer and Chloe walk through the hallway of a mental institution, discussing Chloe’s bafflement with Maze’s behavior. They’re visiting the mental institution to solve the murder of an orderly. The only witness to the crime is a patient, played by Timothy Omundson called God Johnson. Lucifer immediately breaks departmental rules to talk with “God Johnson,” demonstrating one of his favorite tricks: flauting authority, even when its to the detriment of people Lucifer cares about. God tells Lucifer nothing when Lucifer tries his mind tricks on God. God quips to Lucifer about having a staring contest, saying he’s good at those, before calling Lucifer “Samiel” while the light coming in from the window behind him plays tricks on Lucifer’s eyes on his way out of the room, escorted by one of the orderlies.
“Dad,” says Lucifer as the door closes…
While talking to Amenadiel later on, Lucifer submits that he thinks he might have talked with their Dad. Amenadiel suggests to Lucifer that God has much better places to be than earth, at which point Lucifer begins razzing Amenadiel about his feelings for Maze (one of his other favorite tactics for avoiding subjects connected to his personal pain). Back at the station, Ella tells team Lucifer that God Johnson’s fingerprints were on the victim’s body, after a rousing duet with Chloe of “What If God Was One Of Us.” Lucifer immediately jumps onboard with that idea, wanting to stick it to God or even God’s namesake, but without the results of the special hearing Det. Decker had to apply for in order to smooth over Lucifer’s illegal interference with the witness [God] earlier, the team is cooling their heels.
Lucifer heads to the mental hospital in order to circumvent the rules (again) and asks the orderly at the information window for a suite for the night. When the orderly refuses, based on the fact that the hospital is at near capacity and Lucifer isn’t a danger to himself or others, Lucifer grabs the orderly by the collar and slams him against the window, causing the orderly to fetch the appropriate staff members to check Lucifer in for a mandatory seventy-two hour psych eval. Lucifer is now a patient.
Det. Dan stomps through the hallways of the police precinct, asking who has stolen his pudding from the fridge, only to find Charlotte/Lilith eating it. Charlotte/Lilith propositions Dan and Dan tells her “no” in no uncertain terms. Of course, Lilith thinks he’s just playing hard-to-get. Back at the mental hospital, Lucifer starts getting to know the patients. He buys in to a poker game with some interesting characters and questions some of them, only to be assaulted with underwear-to-the-face by a patient who not only seems to be a compulsive liar, but also a compulsive underwear thrower (who knew this was an actual condition?). Lucifer meets his doctor briefly, but the doctor has to tend to the underwear-thrower and can’t chat right now. As Lucifer walks away, he runs into God doing what looks like attacking a woman, only to find out that he’s saving her by performing miraculous healing on her. This confirms to Lucifer that God Johnson is his Dad and Lucifer immediately punches him in the face. Cut to commercial. While talking with Chloe later on and antagonizing her by drawing obscene pictures, Lucifer attempts to convince Chloe that he’s in the mental hospital to work on the case. Chloe doesn’t buy it and challenges Lucifer’s motivations. Lucifer admits that he thinks God Johnson is his Father and then further complicates the situation by telling her he thinks God didn’t kill the victim, but Santa Claus did. Of course, Santa Claus is a patient Lucifer is referring to who looks like Santa, but Chloe has had it with Lucifer’s antics. While talking to the head doctor, Chloe says she’s worried about Lucifer’s mental health. The doctor seems interested in Chloe and offers Chloe his number. A nurse interrupts their conversation and pulls the doctor away.
Back inside the hospital, Lucifer and God talk. Lucifer tells God that he’s giving God a chance to apologize for his transgressions to which God Johnson replies, “you hit me.” Lucifer is visibly upset with his Dad and God seems perplexed as to why and offers to forgive Lucifer. Lucifer calls God “a patronizing, sinister helicopter parent” (probably true). Lucifer tells God that Lilith is on earth and God seems super jazzed about that. Lucifer tells God to apologize again, telling God that Lucifer is who God made him. Dr. Linda interrupts.
Maze and Chloe have a phone conversation about “Dr. McHottie” asking Chloe out and come up with a plan to pump him for information. Maze offers to help Chloe to set up a date. Chloe, of course, says no to that. Chloe asks Ella if she has found any evidence that Santa Claus has anything to do with the crime. Ella says that she’s found a long, white hair at the scene of the crime and the two decide that a mentally troubled person could easily mistake someone with long white hair and a beard for Santa Claus. This description just so happens to match one of the individuals with a mental health condition.
Lucifer pushes Dr. Linda down the hospital hallway in a wheelchair, while she breathes in and out into a paper bag. Linda worries that she wasn’t deferential enough when she met God a moment ago, asking whether she should’ve bowed or curtsied. Lucifer comes up with a plan to torture both God and Lilith. Lucifer suggests to some of the mental patients, including God, that they should escape the mental hospital. Lucifer assigns distractions to each of the most troubled inmates, including a pyromaniac, to whom he gives his lighter, allowing himself and God to escape. Lucifer thoroughly enjoys the pandemonium, as does God. Doctors and nurses rush by as Lucifer and God hide in the laundry rooms, waiting for Dr. Linda, who immediately curtsies and bows to God.
Maze helps Chloe to set up a dinner date with the doctor from the mental hospital, inviting him over to their place for dinner. Maze, of course, expects an orgy. When there’s a knock on the door, however, it is not the doctor, but Amenadiel, to Maze’s great surprise. Lilith stands alone in Lucifer’s empty club, but instead of Lucifer, she sees God Johnson. God Johnson gets up from the piano and tells Lilith that she’s as beautiful as the first time they met. Lucifer and Dr. Linda hide behind the bar, watching. Lucifer, as Dr. Linda points out, is trying to parent trap his parents. Lucifer says he’s trying to cause them pain as they are an extremely volatile couple but is that his only motivation? Lilith slaps God in the face.
Cut to Chloe and the doctor on an awkward double pizza date at with Maze and Amenadiel at Maze and Chloe’s apartment. The doctor handles the situation with a level of grace not often seen. Maze makes the situation about 200% more awkward when she tells the doctor that she’s changed the sheets on Chloe’s bed. Amenadiel chimes in by letting the doctor know that he likes the shape of his head. Chloe kicks Maze and Amenadiel out. The doctor tells Chloe that they’re nothing compared to the patients he has to deal with on a regular basis, leaving Chloe the perfect segue to pick the doctor’s brain on the topics of the patients at the hospital. The doctor seems thoroughly charming but catches on to Chloe’s plan anyway. As the two are on their date, the doctor finds out that Lucifer and God escaped and let Chloe know. Will there be a future for Chloe and the doctor? Chemistry is definitely present.
Back to Lilith and God. As the two converse, it’s hard to tell whether Lilith believes that God Johnson is her husband as the two dance to The Four Seasons at Lucifer’s club with Lucifer and Linda looking on. As the two kiss, Det. Decker barges in to collect God and Lucifer, leaving Lilith looking puzzled. Det. Decker returns Lucifer and God to the hospital and apologizes to the doctor, who accepts it gracefully, telling Chloe that Santa Claus has no violent tendencies and shows her Santa’s files. Looks like the doctor really likes Chloe. Chloe Decker and the doctor investigate the case, looking for who might have the key to the closet with the Santa Claus mask in it. As the two investigate, someone in a Santa mask and hat attacks a clearly drugged Lucifer in his room. Apparently, the detective is still in the hospital since the drugs are affecting Lucifer. God lies on a hospital gurney next to Lucifer’s.
In a true Scooby Doo “And I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids” moment…
When the person in the mask asks Lucifer and God Johnson what they told the police, God calls the nurse, Nurse Kipsey, by her name. Whoops. The nurse removes her Santa affectations and exposes her face to Lucifer and God, telling them she’ll have to kill them both. Looks like sometimes, being omniscient has its downfalls. The doctor waits in handcuffs as a precaution (what?) while Chloe investigates DNA evidence from the key to the closet with the Santa stuff. Back in the hospital basement, the nurse tells Lucifer and God that she got her job with the hospital after changing her name and driving her Mother crazy so that she’d be locked up. She planned to kill her Mother until God saved her with his miracle. She switched out Lucifer’s regular meds with Haledol. Of course, with the detective in the building, he’s unable to break free and come after her. Nurse Kipsey removes God’s belt in order to fake a murder-suicide scene between God Johnson and Lucifer and God Johnson protests, having gotten a special dispensation in order to wear his belt. Before the belt comes off, God apologizes to Lucifer, telling Lucifer that he didn’t realize how angry he was with him. When the belt comes off, however, God disappears, leaving a perplexed and angry man strapped to a gurney. Chloe rescues Mr. Johnson and Lucifer, leaving Lucifer to take the piece from Mr. Johnson’s belt. The cod piece from the belt activated life, healing and the power and knowledge of the divine in Mr. Johnson. Lucifer adds the cod piece to Azrael’s blade, thinking the blade is now complete, but it slips right off. Lucifer has realized that his brother’s last words to him were a clue about how his sword worked (does anyone else think this is happening a bit too easily?). The sword apparently has three pieces, two of which Lucifer, Amenadiel and Lilith have. Amenadiel, having sworn not to lie to Maze again has confided in her about their plan to go back to heaven. Lilith is nowhere to be found. Lilith shows up at Det. Dan’s house to apologize to him and confide her story about finding out that God wasn’t God when she kissed him (of course, she amends the story a bit for Det. Dan’s human sensibilities, saying she thought she kissed her ex-husband, only to find out upon kissing him that it wasn’t him at all) and to ask him to hold her—with his pants off, of course. Dan accepts, knowing that Lilith as opened up to him. Lucifer and Mr. Johnson talk, offering Lucifer some much needed closure and enraging him further. Lucifer, Lilith and Amenadiel are now on a quest to find the third piece of the sword, the key that binds all the pieces together. Let the games begin!
*Sadly, this writer has gotten word from inside sources that veteran principal actor (from this episode) Timothy Omundson is experiencing some health difficulties that may or may not impact further filming. Although we do have the details of what has happened, out of respect for Mr. Omundson and his loved ones, we will be keeping those details private. We wish him the very best for a quick and complete recovery.