Well, here is something we haven’t seen before in the Earperverse…..a down home Christmas special! We like to think it would be a soft, fuzzy, cozy and calm time, but who are we kidding? This is Purgatory we are talking about here. If something is soft and fuzzy, it probably has teeth and will kill you. Think the killer rabbit in Monty Python’s Holy Grail.
I have chosen to do this recap with a hint of review in the form of mostly the dialogue. It took me awhile and quite a lot of pausing, rewinding and replaying, but I got it. I may have gotten a word wrong or left a phrase or two out....but..... I just thought it was something different one doesn’t see too much of in the written versions of the recaps / reviews out there.
So, first we open the episode with some good happy music playing. Wynonna is in the downstairs bedroom and has a very awesome (where can I get one of these) one piece pajamas on.
“If it were only socially acceptable to wear this year round.” She then comes bursting through the curtains of the room…..
“So…..(as she slides across the floor like Tom Cruise in Risky Business) who’s up for some rum and eggnog? Hold the nog.”
She stops and turns and sees Michelle (Momma) decorating and is stunned at the job that she has done.
“Come on, it can’t be that bad!” Waverly says while lying on the bed.
Nicole slowly does a walk of shame from the other room. She has on an oversized elf outfit with ears.
“Oh.” Waverly giggles “Okay, Okay. I got something that will help with that.” She pulls out an elf hat complete with a jingle bell on top and places it on Nicole’s head.
“Oh man.” Nicole groans
“There. Now you are fully elfed. I feel like I should knight you with a candy cane.” Waverly smiles.
Doc comes bursting through the door carrying an ax and a real Christmas tree. Because you know, he is old school and cut that thing down himself .
“Whoa! Whoa! We’re good for trees, hon.” Momma yells at him.
“Well, with no disrespect ma’am, the season demands it. The genuine article. (I am guessing that Earp tree of the fake variety) says Doc.
Momma’s face goes a little on the stern and maybe angry side. “Are you questioning my festive decorating ability?” she says to him as she slowly advances forward. Doc now gets a concerned look on his face and backs up to the other side of the garland hanging low.
“We just banished a demon from this house. The last thing we need is mites.” She says right to his face and walks away.
Doc’s eyes go wide and he gives Wynonna a WTH look. She just shrugs and says. “It’s a whole thing.”
Doc leaves with his tree to find someone who will hopefully appreciate it more.
Waverly: “Nedley does make the perfect Santa. He has a certain je ne sais jolly that you lack, honey.”
Nicole groans and throws herself back on the bed.
“So where does that leave me then? Legolas for life?”
Waverly smiles and comes to her. “I know. I know, it’s not fair. But it sure is cute.” She bends over and kisses Nicole.
Wynonna is by herself momentarily and is looking at the angel tree topper.
“Well, that isn’t canon.”
She walks over to a box and pulls out a homemade angel.
“It’s that time of year!” she says in sing song as she climbs the step stool.
“Oh, what are you…… That’s no angel.” Momma says catching Wynonna
“I’ve always used it.” Replies Wynonna
“I mean…..after you…left”
Momma sighs. “Can I please…..please give you two the Christmas I always wanted? Prison Christmas was tough.” She says popping open a beer. “Our eggnog was scrambled.”
Wynonna looks at her mom and then the angel in her hand. “I guess the Menstru-angel can go back in my box.”
“Thank you Wynonna.” Momma says as Wynonna returns the menstru-angel to its box.
There is a ding from the kitchen.
“Oh, my yams need to be mashed and by the looks of it so do you.”
Wynonna rolls her eyes in disgust. “Okay!”
“Go on. Go track down that tree-toatin hunk of Christmas!” Momma tells her, pats her on the shoulder and walks to the kitchen.
Wynonna replies, mainly to herself.
“I’m not calling Doc. I don’t need to get laid, that’s for damn sure.”
She suddenly hears WayHaught sex noises from upstairs and makes a face and quickly puts on a pair of Santa themed earmuffs.
Purgatory Festival Time
A young good looking fireman is going around with no coat (he’s so hot he doesn’t need one…..sorry….couldn’t resist)
“Purgatory fire needs your help! Help spread some holiday cheer.” He is saying
“Santa’s knees aren’t so good, so there won’t be any lap sitting, but you can still tell me what you want” Nedley is saying sitting in a seat shaped like a sleigh. The little girl he is talking to gets up.
“What about you two? What do you want under your Christmas tree?” he asks two older boys.
“Selena Gomez” the first boy says and his friend giggles.
Nedley thinks they are a little too old for this and is about to continue when the friend, Tim says something else.
“Santa?” he says looking not at Nedley but off to the side.
“Santa? Santa wait!” Tim yells and runs off.
Nedley removes his hat and beard. “Okay, jokes over.”
“Wait. Tim?” the first boy yells to his friend and takes off after him.
Tim ends up in the tree lot. “Santa?” he keeps saying.
Tim’s friend is yelling for him and Nedley catches up.
Tim stops, he finds a bell and picks it up. He looks up. “Santa?” he says confused. It isn’t Santa but Bulshar dressed all in red.
Tim’s friend is still calling his name and then the screaming starts. Nedley stops the boy and slowly moves forward. We can still hear the screaming, but Nedley has a shocked look on his face, so we are not sure if he actually sees anything or it is just the screaming.
Back at the Earp Homestead…..
Waverly kisses Nicole goodbye and Nicole starts to leave
“Are those your ears or are you just happy to see me?” Wynonna says to her as she heads out the door.
Wynonna hands Waverly a mug and they eventually go upstairs and talk.
“It’s crazy having her back here.” Wynonna tells her sister.
“Yeah. As crazy as we thought she was last week. Do you think she is okay now?” Waverly asks
“Mmmmm…..don’t leave her alone today.” Wynonna answers
“I won’t. I want to be here with her. Oh, and I have to dig around for the Menstru-angel.”
Wynonna tells her, “Oh, no go. Momma’s not a fan of our blessedly absorbent friend.”
“I didn’t know they were tampons when I made it.” Waverly confesses then pauses and smiles. “I can convince Momma.”
“Wait!” Wynonna says as she grabs her sister’s knee to stop her. “There’s something else. Ummmm…..it’s about….your…father.”
Downstairs we hear Waverly coming from the stairwell. All excited about her father being an angel and just keeps talking.
“Shit.” Momma says mostly under her breath as she is butchering a complete (I mean….whole neck with head, etc.)
“Be an angel and go get the cranberry sauce.” She says trying to change the subject.
“Pfft. Nobody actually eats that stuff.” Wynonna chimes in.
“Hey! It wouldn’t be Christmas without cranberry sauce! So one of you better go get some pronto.” As she pulls a chunk of turkey guts out….”Oh, and you’re gonna need to dig through this to see if there’s anything worth saving.”
Waverly grunts in disgust then says, “Guys, we need to talk about this, okay?” She does a double take and realizes what her mom is has there on the counter.
“Wait. Did you just go out and slaughter a wild turkey?”
“Like I’m gonna feed my girls store-bought.” Momma replies.
“No, you can’t avoid this with giblets.” Waverly tells her.
“Even really gross giblets” Wynonna chimes in from across the room.
Momma stops and turns to Waverly. “You were my miracle baby.”
“And what better time to tell her than on JC’s birthday?” Wynonna adds
Momma sighs and tells them to pull up a chair.
“We were in love. His name was Julian. He was everything Ward wasn’t. Kind. Honest. Sober. Until he left without saying goodbye. Still, I don’t regret the affair. Especially since nine months later I got my Waverly. You were born out of love sweetie.”
“You never tried to find him?” Waverly asks.
“Kind of had my hands full with a demon that arrived after you were born. A demon that we beat……together.”
“I don’t feel like an angel.” Waverly says
“Well, Bobo could have been lying.” Wynonna replies
“Bobo DelRay? That son of a bitch still around? He was there the night you were born.” Momma confesses
Wynonna gets a call and tells them she’s got to go and that a kid has gone missing. Momma tells her to go bring that kid home. Wynonna says she intends to.
After Wynonna leaves Waverly tries to get her mother to tell her more.
“Please. Please Momma.” She begs
“No. I just want to spend the night with my girls. I don’t want to get lost in the Ghosts of Christmas Past. I just wanna eat turkey.”
“I’m a vegan.” Waverly tells her
“You’re already a lesbian. Speaking of which is Nicole gonna be joining us for dinner?”
“Yes. And…..maybe…..I can ask dad too? Do you have his number?”
Momma tells her no she does not, but if either of the girls knows where that Bobo is maybe they could as him where Julian might be.
At the station……
Doc comes bursting in where Jeremy is working carrying his now very sad Charlie Brown looking tree.
“Out! Out! And get rid of the needles in the hallway! I can already feel the vice tightening up around my sinuses. Jeremy yells at him.
“It was intended as a festive gesture. Hoping to brighten up the place.”
“I’m not feeling very festive right now.” Jeremy says and sits on the desk.
Doc sighs and comes over and sits next to Jeremy.
“Is that why you got rid of your mustache? Maybe you need to find a handsome gentleman to get in the spirit with.” Doc says, nudging Jeremy a little.
“Oh no. My mood has NOTHING to do with guys. I passed the Bechdel test with flying colors. A whole rainbow actually!”
Doc gives Jeremy a very confused look.
“”What??” he says
“Exactly.” Jeremy tells him. Like that cleared up that reference at all.
“Look, it’s been my experience that romantic entanglements, they can alleviate all kinds of stressors.” Doc advises.
“Not all of us has a Black Friday, standing outside of Best Buy amount of people fawning over us.”
Doc is getting a little frustrated and is confused again.
“I’m tryin here, Jeremy, but these references…..”
“Rosita, Kate the vampire, Wynonna freakin Earp. I….I can’t even get one dude to call me back.”
Doc sighs and now understands the mood. “Robin didn’t call.” He puts an arm around Jeremy.
“He didn’t call.” Jeremy says.
Doc offers his “well-worn advice” that Jeremy should be direct and ask for what he wants. Jeremy thanks Doc and places his hand on Doc’s knee, who in turn promptly removes it. Doc gets up, grabs his sad Christmas tree and walks out.
Jeremy repeats Doc’s advice to himself as he dials his phone, calling Robin.
Elsewhere (in some sort of hell)……
The phone is ringing, but is in a bowl with a bunch of other cell phones. The place is dark and dank, there are people being tortured and screaming, people in cages and these weird “people” in outfits that resemble a bee keeper outfit meets industrial.
Two of these bee keeper dudes are dragging a very upset Tim and they stop in front of a cage. We see they stopped in front of Bulshar also.
“Name?” Bulshar asks
“Timothy.” Tim answers
“Your FULL family name.”
Bulshar looks at a ledger he is holding. “Oh dear. It looks like you made the naughty list.” He nods to his minions.
They throw Tim in a cage and we see he is not alone, but is with Jeremy’s missing man Robin.
Back at the festival grounds…..
Nicole is trying to keep the crowd calm and promising they are doing everything in their power to figure this out. Wynonna shows up and heads to Nedley who is sitting in his “sleigh” and is staring into space.
“What, no marshmallows? Not like a kid is missing, huh?” she says to him but he doesn’t move or respond.
Nicole sees Wynonna and comes over.
“It’s bad. He is taking it really hard because he was there when it happened.” Nicole tells her as they walk into the crowd.
She tells Wynonna to continue on back and Charlie will fill her in on the rest.
“Charlie?” she yells to Nicole, but Nicole is back to trying to calm the crowd.
Wynonna walks back and finds a guy kneeling, looking at blood on the ground.
“We need to get this kid back. It’s Christmas.” Charlie says not looking up.
“Totally.” Wynonna answers. Charlie looks up suddenly and he and Wynonna stare at each other for a moment.
“Uh…..hi. Wynonna Earp.” She says as she puts out a hand.
“Charlie. Fire Services.” He says shaking her hand.
“That’s your last name?” Wynonna, still holding his hand says, trying for a joke.
“Okay.” Wynonna says as she lets go and kneels looking at the blood.
She tells him that there is way too much blood there to be the kids. It was staged to make it look like the kid is dead. That means then that it is a totally acceptable place then in which to make jokes.
“It may be animal blood for all we know.” She tells him.
“Li..Like that Sherlock story. A bunch of blood turned out to be from a dog?”
Wynonna just looks at him. Perhaps not getting the reference because I can’t see her reading Sherlock Holmes anyway.
“I can take it to my guy for testing.” She says instead.
“You have a guy?”
“Eh….just part of my team.”
“You have a team?”
“A whole posse actually.” Wynonna smiles.
Just then a cracking from above makes Charlie look up and as a big branch falls, Charlie pushes Wynonna out of the way, landing partially on her.
“Thanks. Not usually my thing, being saved.” She says to him.
“Saw the branch…..took action.” Charlie says as he gets up and examines the branch.
He says that it is strange because that strain of tree shouldn’t grow this far north.
“You into trees too?” she asks him
He replies that the fire hall library had a bunch of books on arborism. Then he realizes he left Wynonna on the ground. Really….she could have gotten up herself, but hey, let the good looking fireman help you up. LOL.
Back at the station……
Doc is sitting reading at a desk with his feet up. Jeremy is nearby working on something on the counter. Wynonna and Charlie come in.
“Yo, nerdzilla!” Wynonna calls to Jeremy
“Oh! You got me coffee!” Jeremy happily replies.
“Inside.” She says and Jeremy opens the coffee cup to find bloody snow.
“We need it tested, whether it’s fresh, animal, human….the full science guy mark-up.” She instructs him.
“Uh. Okay. Sure. I’ll call up my blood splatter analyst, my behavioral profiler, and Helen Mirren to see what’s up.” Jeremy says. Back to being a grump.
“You will have to excuse his Ebenezer-esque mood. He’s still smarting from a romantic disappointment.” Explains Doc.
“Okay!” Wynonna says leaning into Jeremy “A kid is missing and we don’t talk about Helen Mirren in that tone.” She dials her phone and goes to the other side of the room.
“Wavs, I need you to check a last name, McBlake and cross reference it with the VIP townspeople the vamps were after.” She says to Waverly on the phone.
“McBlake. Timothy McBlake? Yeah. No. His family’s been in Purgatory forever. I think their family were originally prospectors.” Waverly answers.
Wynonna asks her how Momma is doing, but we see now that Waverly is outside and not at the homestead. She is at the well where Bobo is. She lies to her sister saying Momma is elbow deep in turkey guts and tells her she’s got to go.
Wynonna hangs up and heads back to the group.
“Old family. So, this is most likely Bulshar.”
“Pardon? Who-shar?” Charlie asks.
“Uh…..just a…..guy.” Wynonna stammers
“Eh…huge dick.” Jeremy says and the stunned looks on Doc’s face and Wynonna’s is priceless.
“He IS a huge dick. I…..I don’t know about his size….down there.” Jeremy clarifies.
“He’s probably and innie. He’s not super great.” Wynonna adds.
“He’s a fella that holds a grudge against this town and all who have lived here more than a few weeks.” Doc adds.
Wynonna goes on to explain that the kid that was taken is from an old original Purgatory family.
Jeremy perks up. “Wait! Wait! Robin’s family too! He mentioned it that his dad would never leave town because they’ve been here forever. That means I wasn’t ghosted, my date was just kidnapped by Bulshar. Maybe. Paazah!” he says a little too happily.
Wynonna gives him a look “Go test the blood.”
“Doc, we need to find someone who knows more about why Bulshar is going after first families.”
“That’s a good idea.” Doc tells her.
“Thank you.” She says (almost with a bite to it…honest no pun here) “You know anyone like that? Large incisors? Someone you….maybe….married…one time?”
“Yes, we may speak with my wife.” Doc answers.
Charlie just looks at them and comments “You guys are wild.”
At the well
Waverly slides over the lid of the well and points a shotgun towards Bobo on the bottom. Bobo looks up and smiles “You finally came!”
At the Gardner House (aka now Kate’s house)…….
Kate opens the door. “Doc Holliday and wise great-grandaughter.”
“Mmmm…..you’re missing a ‘great’ Kate. N….not an intentional rhyme. We’re on the clock plus I don’t need an invitation to enter places.” Wynonna says entering the house.
“Doc, too can enter whenever he pleases.” Kate retorts.
“We’re here for information on the vampire pack.” Doc says to intervene
Kate smiles as she walks away. “I’ll provide whatever I can.”
“Okay, so what’s with Otto and company’s whole VIP thing?” Wynonna asks her.
“All we knew we were to separate the decendants of the first families of Purgatory from all the residents. And, we couldn’t kill any of them. Bulshar needed them.”
“For what?” Wynonna asks as she watches Kate light an oil lamp.
“That is all I know.” Kate replies.
“Bullshit.” Wynonna says and quickly turns on the electric lamp behind her.
“Wynonna! Please, go easy. She’s obviously gone through a lot. She’s been taken by vampires, turned into one, she’s a victim.” Doc says sitting on the arm of the chair where his wife is sitting. Ugh.
Kate looks up at Doc. “I am the same as the day I met you.” She informs him.
“Pfft! You mean to tell me…..” Doc starts to say.
“Queen of the Damned, meet King of the Dense. The vamp was calling from inside the house.” Wynonna interjects.
Doc is in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks Kate.
“I did. Many times. Doc, I’m a vampire. Doc, I drink blood. Doc, let me bite you.”
“Yeah, I thought that was role-play.” Doc replies.
Wynonna rolls her eyes in disgust (I would too). “Gag reflex getting swole over here.”
“You don’t remember.” Kate continues with Doc.
“Do you not remember how much opium we would smoke?” he asks her.
“Wouldn’t be good opium if I could. And….it’s why I never had or never could have my photo taken.” She says as she gets up. “And, why I had my girl Sally pose as the outlaw Big Nose Kate.” Hands Doc an old newspaper with the picture (in real life that is the REAL Big Nose Kate).
“You said that was so the law could not identify you.” Doc says
“Or because vampires can’t be captured on film. Pretty smart Big Nose.” Wynonna chimes in.
“Nicknamed after my specialty in the boudoir. I was famous for it.” She says and Wynonna looks even more disgusted and sick.
“So why did you leave when I got sick?” Doc asks Kate.
“I couldn’t bear to see you like that and then I got word you died, so I reunited with my undead family in Europe. Not a day went by I didn’t think of you though.”
She puts a hand on Doc’s chest and starts to move it up and down. “Nights turned into mornings, our bodies, our passion…..”
“Okay, I’m officially gonna need a bucket. Great chat you two.” Wynonna says as she gets up and starts to leave.
“I also was a friend of Wyatt’s, Wynonna. I could be of some service.” Kate says to her.
“Um…..no new team members. Enjoy squatting in my friend’s house. That’s cool.” Wynonna answers and she and Doc continue towards the door but only get a step or two before….
“You forgot this the other night.” Kate yells out.
She grabs a familiar white handled knife from the fireplace mantle and hands it over to Doc. Wynonna has had enough of this shit and storms out the door. Doc gives Kate a look.
“Was that really necessary?” he asks Kate.
“It’s her friend’s house?” Kate asks trying to play innocent.
“She’ll warm up to you.” Doc tells her (I am secretly hoping not.)
“And what about you? When will you warm up? She may not need you Doc, but I do.” (okay….now I am REALLY hoping Wynonna doesn’t warm up to Kate. Wynonna DOES need Doc you bitch. You’ve survived without him for over a century.
Back at the Bobo well……
Waverly tells Bobo that she hears that he seems to think she is an angel.
“Tell me about the night I was born.”
“That was a happy day.” He says in his weird moving way.
He goes on to say that he was on a date and heard screaming coming from the Gibson greenhouse and found it to be Michelle.
“He should be here. He should be here.” Michelle is saying holding and rocking the baby.
“Where’s Julian? He needs her to protect her. If you hurt her, I swear….” She says when she sees Bobo.
Bobo says that Michelle begged him to please save the baby. To save Waverly. His demeanor changes as soon as he heard that name. He said he knew she was different. Michelle had lost a lot of blood and passed out, so Bobo takes her to the bar where Ward Earp was.
“WARD!!” yells Bobo upon entering the bar.
“What the hell do you want?!” Ward demands.
“This is for you.” Bobo says and shows Ward the baby.
“Get that thing away from me. It’s not mine.”
Ward aims Peacemaker at Bobo, but Bobo uses his powers to make the gun fly to him. Even though his hand is smoking he gets his point across.
“You WILL take this baby. You WILL care for it. And if I find out you’ve hurt this angel, I will come for you and I will KILL you.”
Waverly listening to this says that Bobo is her hero or at least he is making himself sound like one. But is it mere coincidence that Bobo just happened to be at that greenhouse the same night her dad went missing.
“Missing……for some.” Bobo says cryptically
Waverly wants to know more, like where is Julian and does Bobo know. Bobo says storytime is over and she won’t get any more answers until he is topside. Waverly doesn’t fall for it. She’s learned not to trust him in the past, so yeah, storytime is over. She shuts the lid of the well.
Back at the station……
Doc is trying to keep up with a very pissed off Wynonna.
“Hold up!” he yells after her.
“What? You’re gonna tell me about the time you had a threeway with Amelia Earhart and Laura Ingalls?” she says, continuing to walk.
“Wynonna!” Doc yells
She stops and turns to face him.
“It’s bad luck to refuse a kiss underneath the mistletoe.” He tries his charm.
“You waiting or one or are you offering?” she asks
“The offer is ALWAYS there.”
“Huh. Maybe you should stick to kissing your wife.”
“I have not been with her in a century.”
“Oh, so your knife was at her place because your dishwasher was broken? It is not my jam to be the other woman.”
“Dammit Wynonna! (takes off his hat in frustration) You are not the other woman! You’re ………(pauses to find the right words and Wynonna gives him a look) You’re another woman.”
“What does that mean?” she asks him
“It means she was my wife and now you’re someone I shared something even greater with. More than just romance. I mean, we had a baby.”
Wynonna kisses him, but struggles with whether she wants to pull away or not and she finally does.
“Isn’t it time we stopped being scared and started being honest with one another?” he asks her.
“Honestly, I don’t know what to do with you.” She tells him.
“You can admit you love me.” He says. (My heart is breaking by this point, but Doc….you should have said it first.)
Wynonna looks at Doc. You can see the struggle there of wanting to say it, but the stubbornness in her wins out.
“Let’s just get back to work.” She says and walks away.
In the office……
Nedley is in his office with Nicole. She is accusing him of being cooped up in there all day. He is still very upset and says that he couldn’t save the boy. He froze. He has never frozen before. Nicole reminds him that there are others missing besides the kid, but Nedley doesn’t think there is anything they can do. They have no money, resources….but Nicole says they have HELP.
“What’s the point? Bring them home? To Purgatory? Where bad things just happen?” he says then sees Nicole’s face.
“Nicole, last week I watched a bunch of vampires bite Lonnie’s head off and the next night binge-watched all of Pretty Little Liars like it was nothing.”
He admits to Nicole that this case has changed something in him and he can’t snap out of it. Nicole says he has to because he is the sheriff.
A search party is combing the woods for clues and yelling for Tim. Nicole finds something that turns out to be blood red petals of a flower.
Back in Bulshar Hell …..
A man is lead screaming to a chair directly across from Tim and Robin. He is strapped down and a metal clamp across his forehead to keep his head still.
“Watch! Watch just as your ancestors watched my final moments.” Bulshar says and stuffs a very weird looking “seed” into the man’s mouth. Then a feeding tube contraption is strapped over his mouth and Bulshar pours a green goo into a funnel which leads to there. Robin is seen having covered Tim’s eyes.
Back at the station…….
Jeremy is excited. “Wait, so you’re saying he’s alive?”
“Well, the vampires cannot kill the first families, this much we know, so…..yeah.” Doc answers
“But we still need to figure out where Bulshar is keeping them.” Wynonna adds.
“Do the petals help?” Nicole asks Jeremy.
Jeremy looks at the petals in the bag and says that they are not a type of flower that grows around here natively. Wyonna looks disappointed. However, Jeremy adds that they are a flower that are usually planted around factories with really noxious odors.
He gets up and says that the blood they found and he tested was not the boy’s blood. In fact it wasn’t human. It was pigs blood. Wynonna tries to go for a high five with Nicole behind her, but Nicole leaves her hanging. LOL.
They discuss known factories in the area and settle on three potential ones. Doc tells them to saddle up.
“Why go together? Time is crucial…..right?” Wynonna says, stopping everyone.
“Because it is dangerous.” Doc answers.
“I don’t need protecting.” Wynonna tells him. By this time you can tell by Nicole’s face she knows something is up between these two.
“Is that what you want?” Doc asks Wynonna.
Wynonna just nods, grabs her coat and heads out the door.
Back in Bulshar Hell……
“Tiny Tim. Your great, great, great grandfather betrayed me. Did you know that? The other old families betrayed me too. They disgust me. You disgust me. (He reaches through and grabs Tim’s wrist) Is that why he sold me out to Wyatt Earp? Why he gave him the key to the sheriff’s office so they could ambush me?” Bulshar says.
He opens the cage door, presumably to grab Tim, but Robin stands up and stands in the way.
Bulshar chuckles at first, but then decides to take Robin and they strap him to the chair. Robin looks over to Tim and tells him everything will be okay, it will be alright.
At one of the old factories……
Wynonna gets into her truck and Charlie pulls up in a fire pickup truck.
“Lemme guess. Super Duper locked?” he says to her
“What are you doing here?” she asks him
“Jeremy texted me the address.”
“Huh.” Wynonna says and pulls out Peacemaker and aims it at Charlie.
“Don’t you think you’d know if I was supernatural by now?” Charlie says to her.
Wynonna says she wasn’t talking about anything supernatural. Charlie explains that with the weird stuff happening and that name Bulshar, which is a name you don’t just get from a baby name book, he figured it out.
“Humor me.” She says to him still pointing the gun.
Charlie gets out of his truck and stands in front of Wynonna who aims the gun first at his crotch and works her way up. It doesn’t light up like it does for demons.
“Okey Dokey then. Just a man.” She says and puts the gun down.
“Just a man standing in front of a marshall asking to help save a bunch of people.” Charlie says as he leans on her truck.
“Chains around both doors. Any chance you brought a big fire ax?” she asks.
“I did. I have a big hose.” He says with a smile.
Down in Bulshar’s Lair…..
Next we hear a very merry version of Jingle Bells playing as we see that big hose drop down from above. In the background, we see the bee keeper minions and the cages. Wynonna and Charlie quickly come down the hose and immediately get to work. Wynonna gets to shooting and Charlie can wield that fireman’s ax that’s for damn sure.
As she is shooting, she starts shouting out some of her one-liners.
“Merry Christmas you filthy animals!”
“Ho, Ho hold my calls while I kick some honeycomb ass!”
“Who are you talking too?” Charlie yells to her.
“I’m not sure!” she yells back.
They get done killing the last couple of whatever they are, and they start hearing people yelling to them to get them out.
Charlie gets to using his ax to break the locks and free the people in the cages.
“Thanks for your help.” Wynonna says as she is opening a cage.
“My pleasure it’s what I do.” Charlie answers.
“Yeah, yeah. I get it, you save people. Where were you with a pun or a one-liner when I could’ve used one?”
“How about, like…..uh….you think I could be a keeper?” Charlie tries, but uh-uh, not so good dude.
“Maybe leave the wit to Wynonna, eh?” Wynonna tells him.
“Yeah. Fair enough.” Charlie says as they open the last cage. There they find Tim and help him out.
“Now where is the big guy?” Wynonna asks
“Bulshar got out.” A voice says from across the room. It is Robin still strapped to that chair. However, if one looks closely, he has some of the green goo around his mouth. We will have to wait and see what it is that Bulshar has done and if he got to Robin.
Back at the station……
Happy time! Wynonna and Charlie come marching in with Tim and the others. Tim runs to his mom and gives her a hug. Others are being reunited with loved ones too.
“Looks like Santa came early this year. For once, Mrs. Claus wasn’t like ‘What about me?’ “ Wynonna quips as she and Charlie move across the hall in a doorway.
“Maybe not the right time.” Charlie tells her.
“Alright. You’re right. Premature e-joke-lation on my part.” She says.
Robin sees Jeremy and goes in between Wynonna and Charlie and meets up with him.
“Hey.” Jeremy says quietly.
“You shaved the ‘stache” Robin says giving Jeremy a hug.
“Uh, yeah. I though you didn’t like it.” Jeremy replies.
No, I got ……kidnapped by zombie beekeepers.”
“Oh. Yeah. That was my second guess. (pauses) You wouldn’t have ghosted if you weren’t kidnapped, right? Totally cool if you would have. I just want to read the signals.”
Robin smiles and says, “I just want to try something” and he leans in and gives Jeremy a big kiss.
Jeremy is stunned but manages a smile.
“Christmas dinner at my place?” Robin asks him.
“Uh…..yeah. Would love to. (pauses as a thought occurs to him) “But…..uh….my family.” Jeremy looks towards Wynonna and Nicole.
“Uh….no, no….of course, of course.” Robin says
“But how about Boxing Day?” Jeremy comes in with a raincheck date.
“Leftover Tofuturkey burritos it is.” Robin says with a smile.
Back at the doorway….
“Well, good teamwork there buddy!” Wynonna tells Charlie as she hits him on the arm.
“I’m on the team?!” Charlie says with some excitement.
“Well, you’re team adjacent and that depends if you rat me out.”
“This….” Wynonna says and runs to the nearby food donation box and grabs the can of cranberry sauce on top and smiles big and runs away. Charlie laughs.
In the office……
Nicole quietly walks in. Nedley is still in his office.
“So you were a good elf today. Better than good.” He says to her.
“I’m just glad everyone is safe.” She replies.
“And I was a bad Santa. Not the funny kind where Santa blasphemes a lot. I was bad at my job.”
“Hey, no. It happens to all of us.”
“Not to me. And it’s not going to happen again.” He says and throws Nicole the Santa hat.
“Ah, do I get to be Santa next year?” she says with a smile.
“No….no Nicole. I’m retiring.” Nedley tells her. Dropping a big bombshell.
At the homestead……
Christmas dinner time finally!
“Nobody leave this table until you pop a button.” Michelle tells everyone as she places the now exposed cranberry sauce on the table.
“Mmmmm……yum!” Jeremy says.
“So, you okay or…….You said you was gonna call if….” Doc says looking at Wynonna across the table. Great, not even sitting within reach of one another.
“Oh, Charlie was there. It was fine.” Wynonna says drily
“So, that’s it then.” Doc answers back
Waverly comes in with the Christmas spirit. “I can’t believe we’re all together for Christmas.”
“Well, most of us.” Wynonna says
“Hey…..to….to fallen comrades.” Nicole says making a toast remembering Dolls.
“To the brave.” Doc says and he and Wynonna share a look.
“Ooooh! To Sheriff Nicole Haught!” Waverly adds.
Everyone gives a little cheer.
“To not being ghosted.” Jeremy adds to the toast.
“To the appearance of Jeremy’s upper lip. You look…..you look handsome.” Wynonna says with a smile.
During this time, Doc is looking at his phone down on his lap. He gets a concerned look on his face.
“Excuse me. I have to go.” He says to the group.
“On Christmas?” Wynonna asks him
Doc doesn’t say anything more and walks out.
“This is the part where you go after him numbnuts.” Waverly says to her sister.
Wynonna is just about to get up when Michelle, who has been in another room calls out.
“I found the gravy boat!”
She comes in and sees Wynonna partially out of her seat.
“You’re not going anywhere before we have more turkey.” She tells Wynonna.
“No ma’am.” Wynonna replies.
“Mmmmm….Michelle, this is delicious. Thank you!” Nicole changes the subject.
“Well, thank you Nicole. And thank you for making my Waverly so very happy.” Michelle answers
“Well, I always knew she was an angel.” Nicole smiles at Waverly.
“Well, maybe I should’ve made Bobo tell me where dad is. I could’ve shot him in the kneecap.” Waverly puts out there.
“No. You shouldn’t have because you were focused on what is here around this table.” Michelle tells her.
Michelle goes on to say that around that table is family. She says as she looks around that table she is so damn proud of what her two girls have created.
“I wasn’t there. But you made this your family.” Michelle says as she gets up from the table and heads toward the Christmas tree. She pulls out something from a nearby box and climbs the step ladder.
“This family ain’t perfect. And that’s what’s so great about it.” She says as she takes down the big angel and replaces it with the Menstru-angel as the tree topper.
In the kitchen……
Wynonna and Momma are washing dishes.
“You know, you should just…ummm….fill up the sink just to save water.” Wynonna tells her mother.
“You wanna give the dishes a dirty bath? Uh-uh.”
“Right. Guess they didn’t screen the Inconvenient Truth at the mental institution. Which is fair.”
They both turn their heads at the sound of Waverly’s laughter and her yelling Nicole’s name.
“What is important to me today is saving you some time. You are officially dismissed. Go after your man.” Michelle tells her daughter.
“Huh. My baby daddy is…….married to a vampire.” Wynonna answers.
“That’s a Harlequin I would read.” Michelle says after a pause.
“And I still don’t think I deserve him.” Wynonna confesses. (I sigh…girl…..WTH)
“Of course you do. Wynonna, don’t settle like I did.” Michelle tells her
“We can find Julian if you want. Yeah, we can put Peacemaker on Bobo and make him tell us everything he knows. But, wherever he is, the fact is he ditched you the day you gave birth, so , you know, if we find him…….got words.” Wynonna offers.
“You got us now Momma.” Wynonna tells her mother with her arm around her. Michelle kisses her daughters hand and smiles.
“I’m just gonna go out for a bit. Not gonna say where I’m going or to see who or to do what.” Wynonna tells her.
Michelle just says that Wynonna is a grown woman and can make up her own mind. They all can. Wynonna tells her she loves her and leaves.
At the festival grounds……
Wynonna, Wynonna……..does she go looking for Doc? No. She finds Charlie. Ugh…..
Charlie is taking the white Christmas lights off the old fire truck.
“That was fun.” Wynonna says approaching.
“Was it?” Charlie asks her.
“No. It was awful. Though you’d be more freaked out.” She answers.
“Well, this town’s got a bit of a reputation. Besides, we saved them.”
“There will be more. What am I gonna do? Lie down and scream while I wait? Unless someone makes me.” Wynonna says as she climbs to the open door and sits on the seat facing out.
“Your ability to shift from one inappropriate thought to the next…..” Charlie says starting to come closer and climbing down.
“It’s a gift.”
“It’s really something.” Charlie says as he jumps down to the ground and comes to face her.
“This you flirting?” he asks.
“I mean…..sure.” Wynonna answers back.
“Bad breakup?” Charlie asks her, just guessing.
“Massive trust issues, too.” She says.
“Ah, well, I like a challenge.”
Wynonna leans in then and kisses Charlie passionately.
“No strings. I can’t do that right now. Does that work?” she asks Charlie.
Charlie starts to climb up. “Let’s find out.”
They start kissing and fall back into the truck. And well…..you can use your imagination here. **sigh**
At The Well……
Michelle is seen from below sliding the lid of the well over.
“You shouldn’t have told Waverly those things.” She says down to Bobo who isn’t even looking up.
“Oh. Hi Michelle.”
“I brought you some dinner.” She tells him showing a dish.
“Nothing comes free from Earp women.” He mutters.
“Do you know where he is? Julian?”
“What’s in it for me?” he asks and looks up.
Michelle drops a rope tied to something down to him. He growls and grabs the rope and starts to get up. Obviously Michelle for some unknown reason is leaving Bobo out of the well. I am not sure about this move or her motivation for doing this. We will have to see.
Back at the Homestead…..
Nicole is lying back in Waverly’s room.
(moans) “Ugh….too much tryptophan.” She groans.
“Too much trypto what?” Waverly says as she opens the door. She has a sexy little Santa/Christmas themed dress on with a Santa hat.
“Fan……tastic! Baby, what’s going on?” Nicole asks suddenly perked up.
“Well, I wanted to say sorry for earlier. I was preoccupied with my own stuff, you know, that I couldn’t celebrate your big news. So…..Sheriff. Nicole. Haught. Let me make it up to you.”
Waverly starts singing then stops and giggles and asks if it sounds horrible. Nicole says it sounds just fine. Waverly gives her a kiss and starts again. Basically, a nice runner up to the whole cheerleader dance (even though Waverly was possessed at the time).
We still hear the music playing and see that the well is now empty.
“What do you mean he attacked you?” Doc says to Kate as he kneels in front of her.
“Not him. I fought them off.” She replies.
“His bee keepers?” Doc asks
“Come to collect fealty. I gather.” She says.
Doc turns over her wrists and she gasps and winces in pain.
“You are gonna be fine.” Doc says looking up at her.
“If he finds out who I am….”
“I’m here now.” Doc says as he lifts her chin (I’m starting to feel sick like Wynonna)
“You are, aren’t you? I need you Doc.”
“Say that again.” He says. It is obvious it is something that if Wynonna would have said that he would not be there right now, dammit.
“I need you so bad it hurts.”
“I will do anything in my power to help you” Doc says. Does that sound like a promise he made to Wynonna too? Someone please kill me and put me out of my misery here. Ugh.
“Anything?” Kate asks
“There is only one cure that can cure this affliction. The only thing. But, there’s a cost to being a savior.” She says as she strokes his neck with her nails.
“It would make me immortal again?” Doc asks.
“Oh, we can’t do that! You’re happy here with….with these people. You belong with them not with my kind.” Kate tells him. So frickin’ fake bitch. I will need that bucket.
“Cut the shit, Countessa.” Doc says
“Are you sure?”
“Stop pretending……(removes his hat) that this isn’t what you came here for.” Doc says and bears his neck. REALLY??? So what if that is what she came there for. Doesn’t mean you have to give it to her!!
“You might feel a prick.” Kate says and bears her teeth and sinks them into Doc’s neck.
“Merry Christmas to me.” Doc whispers
He seems in ecstasy at first then his eyes widen and look normal, then they turn. A awesome orange / red color.
Okay……NOT a happy camper here. If he is now a vampire…..I don’t know. I just feel that he really betrayed Wynonna. Okay, so she is sleeping with Charlie, but at least he isn’t turning her into something that is irreversible! And personally, if they get to see Alice again....I wouldn't let him near her.
Please…..PLEASE……someone tell me it will be okay. You can also comment below what you thought about the episode.